Tag: True Self

Posted on in Consciousness

How do I see these feelings being expressed?

How do I want to feel within my life? Peace and tranquility. How do I want to feel within my relationships? Comfortable, safe, joy, understood, supported, generosity, grace, helpful and curiosity.

But what does that look like in real life, my life? How do I know I am moving towards my desired emotions? How do I make this tangible? I cannot control others so it is my emotions, actions and reactions that are evaluated. So what does peace and tranquility look like in my actions and reactions? What is currently not serving me?

  • Hiding my inner self is not serving me. This stems from fear and leads to suppressing emotions and resentment.
  • Suppressing emotions is not serving me. Feeling should come, be felt and then released. Suppressing them is not helpful. They always come back to bite you at the worst time.
  • Self-pity is not serving me. When I get caught up in “Woe is me,” I am only getting sucked into negativity. This then leads to envy and jealousy as I feel lonely and everyone’s life is easier than mine.
  • My triggers are not serving me. Every time an event, statement or feeling triggers me, I am not peaceful or tranquil. I flip out or overreact.
  • Living in the future is not serving me. This leads to worrying and stress and nothing that can be changed.

All the above leads to stress, worrying, anger, annoyance etc. While these feelings are important to feel and let go so there can be joy, peace, excitement etc., when they are the focus, it makes life infinitely harder.

What is serving me?

  • Expressing myself is serving me. Being my true self, allows me to live my life authentically.
  • Feeling emotions is serving me. Identifying and understanding my emotions allows me to feel them and release them.
  • Resilience is serving me. This
  • Evaluating my triggers is serving me. Growth comes with pain and understanding myself and my triggers allow me to unravel and unwrap them. This leads to additional calm.
  • Living in the present is serving me. This brings calm and the ability to feel the moment.

All the above allow for joy, laughter, curiosity, grace, generosity, etc. These allow for peace and tranquility. It make life infinitely easier.

Posted on in Consciousness, Parenting

What is a Successful Life?

  • A life of purpose – Having goals and defined values to work towards and guide life.
  • A life of being true to myself – Knowing who I am, not who I was conditioned to be, and holding my boundaries to maintain myself with kindness, curiosity and compassion.
  • A life of giving – Being kind and compassionate.  It is giving to others in big ways and small ways with no expectation of a return within my boundaries.
  • A life of making the world a better place – Leaving the world better for walking through it with connection to others. It is taking steps forward in protecting the environment, the future, confronting toxicity and spreading kindness and joy.
  • A life of growth – Understanding at any moment I am doing my best and that there is always a better version of myself to learn about and strive towards.
  • A life of flexibility – Understanding life is always changing and that my goal, values and view will change as I grow and experience life.
  • A life of challenge and perseverance – Accepting life’s challenges, and continuing to push forward with my purpose and values in the face of those challenges. It is also understanding that persevering does not mean constantly. Sometimes a break is a must.
  • A life of asking for help and in return helping others – Recognizing we all need help in life, asking for that help and returning it to others when they need it Recognizing all the big and small ways I help another and another helps me.

As I read the list above, it is so different from what I was conditioned to envision years ago. And so I look at it and it feels so idealistic. There is no solid measure in any of the tenants. There is no make this much money and you are successful. There is no get your child into this college and you are successful. There is no own this car or that house and you are successful. There is no meet this goal and you are successful.

There is success in the smallest step. There is success in failure and trying again. There is success in opening a door for someone. There is success in knowing yourself. Success is all around us and as I think about it, my life is already successful. Almost everyone’s life is already successful. We only have to realize it.

That doesn’t mean I don’t continue to have goals and growth. It doesn’t mean I am finished or I won’t still have challenges and impact on the world. It means by the definition above, I can die today, and my life would be considered in my eyes as successful.

  • A life of purpose – I have goals and values in my life. And while I am working to define them more concretely, they are there.
  • A life of being true to myself – I am working on being true to myself, defining and holding boundaries and on understanding my conditioning. I am working on holding myself in kindness, curiosity and compassion. Perfection is not required.
  • A life of giving – I give of myself to others. I am learning to do this within my boundaries. From volunteering with and for community organizations, to being kind and polite with a “Thank You” or holding the door, I give everyday.
  • A life of making the world a better place – I garden with an eye on environmental sustainability. I am raising my children to be more conscious than I am and to help others. I smile and I laugh and I work to spread joy.
  • A life of growth – I am on a constant journey of education and personal growth. I am working to know myself, my children and others.
  • A life of flexibility – I work to adjust my view and roll with life as I grow and change.
  • A life of challenge and perseverance – I know life is hard. I keep going, moving towards my goals and values. I accept that sometimes I need a break and then I keep going.
  • A life of asking for help and in return helping others – I ask for help and help others.

I am not perfect. And I have to constantly fight against my conditioning that says I need to be perfect. The parts of me that tell me I am not successful because I am not perfect. But perfect is not on the list. and while I don’t do all of this all of the time. I have walked my life, and I am successful. By my definition of a successful life, my children are successful. My parents, my husband and most people I know are successful. Wow, I am successful. I wonder how that is going to change my view as I continue to walk through life.

Posted on in Motherhood, Parenting, Travel

First Post – Introduction

I’ve considered writing a blog for some time. A place where I can put thoughts out into the world. I’ve been on a personal journey since I became a mother, 12 almost 13 years ago. When I became a mother, it is what I wanted, and it was so much harder than I thought is was going to be. Then, I had my second child, 10 almost 11 years ago, and I came to the conclusion that motherhood shouldn’t be this hard. I was tired, frustrated, annoyed, resentful all the time. So being a smart, driven woman, I started researching, reading, and taking courses, trying to find the quick cure to all my parenting woes. In the process, I had twins, 7 almost 8 years ago.

And that led me on a journey to where I am now. To understanding that there is no quick cure. That I have been living my life unconscious as dictated by my parental and societal indoctrination. I never questioned what I was told. If it was authority, I did it or believed it. And that in a nutshell, is what made parenting so hard. It is what made my life unfulfilling before I became a parent. And now I am working to unravel that unconscious indoctrination and figure out who I truly am.

All while raising 4 children, working full time, supporting my partner and wanting to make the world a better place.

For the first few posts, I am going to post about our 7 week family trip around the United States this summer. I wrote my observations during the trip for my conscious parenting group. Their comments on those observations helped jumpstart me to actually start the blog.

I hope you enjoy following my awakening to consciousness and that I bring a little good to the world in putting my thoughts out into it.