Tag: mindfulness

Posted on in Consciousness

How do I see these feelings being expressed?

How do I want to feel within my life? Peace and tranquility. How do I want to feel within my relationships? Comfortable, safe, joy, understood, supported, generosity, grace, helpful and curiosity.

But what does that look like in real life, my life? How do I know I am moving towards my desired emotions? How do I make this tangible? I cannot control others so it is my emotions, actions and reactions that are evaluated. So what does peace and tranquility look like in my actions and reactions? What is currently not serving me?

  • Hiding my inner self is not serving me. This stems from fear and leads to suppressing emotions and resentment.
  • Suppressing emotions is not serving me. Feeling should come, be felt and then released. Suppressing them is not helpful. They always come back to bite you at the worst time.
  • Self-pity is not serving me. When I get caught up in “Woe is me,” I am only getting sucked into negativity. This then leads to envy and jealousy as I feel lonely and everyone’s life is easier than mine.
  • My triggers are not serving me. Every time an event, statement or feeling triggers me, I am not peaceful or tranquil. I flip out or overreact.
  • Living in the future is not serving me. This leads to worrying and stress and nothing that can be changed.

All the above leads to stress, worrying, anger, annoyance etc. While these feelings are important to feel and let go so there can be joy, peace, excitement etc., when they are the focus, it makes life infinitely harder.

What is serving me?

  • Expressing myself is serving me. Being my true self, allows me to live my life authentically.
  • Feeling emotions is serving me. Identifying and understanding my emotions allows me to feel them and release them.
  • Resilience is serving me. This
  • Evaluating my triggers is serving me. Growth comes with pain and understanding myself and my triggers allow me to unravel and unwrap them. This leads to additional calm.
  • Living in the present is serving me. This brings calm and the ability to feel the moment.

All the above allow for joy, laughter, curiosity, grace, generosity, etc. These allow for peace and tranquility. It make life infinitely easier.

Posted on in Consciousness

How do I want to feel within my life?

This is such a tough question to answer as I feel so far away from this. And as I think about it, I identify so many “feelings” that I want to have. However, some of the “feelings” are not even feelings. So where does that leave this question.

My society and culture tells me I should constantly be happy. To be successful, I need to be happy all the time. This will make you happy. When you do this, you will be happy. And I have chased this construct many times. Once I graduate high school, everything will be good and happy. Once I graduate college, once I get married, once I get pregnant, once my child is sleeping through the night, once I lose 10 pounds, once I ….However, “once I” never worked, and this is not how emotions and feelings work. Emotions are transient. They come and they go. We are not meant to be happy all the time. We are not meant to be sad all the time. We are meant to allow our emotions to move through us, to process them, and to let them go.

So how do I define “feel” within my life. I think there can be an underpinning of “feeling” or state of mind within my life. It is a mood. What do I want my mood to be within my life? Whether my life is going well or I am having hard times, what do I want my mood to be. I am not saying that I won’t have feelings but how do I want to feel generally when I look at my life. And instead of being a bunch of feelings (or not feelings) when I started looking at this, I only need one. I want a mood of peace, of tranquility within my life.

Peaceful – a state of being calm, quiet, and free from disturbance, tranquility

Tranquil – free from agitation of mind or spirit

And when I look at this, it makes so much sense. There is so much bombarding us from the outside. For me, I took a lot of that conditioning and constructs and started bombarding myself from the inside. So now I want the mood of peace or tranquility, to be free from agitation of mind and spirit. That doesn’t mean that it is quiet all the time, that bad things don’t happen, that good things don’t happen but that the mood I have, the mood I bring to the situations within my life, is peaceful, tranquil, quiet in the chaos of modern life. And that is so not me on the inside, but what I want me to be.